This is the issue I have been pondering as of late. You see, as someone who chooses to expose my musical artistry to the public eye, I find there is a certain amount of personal responsibility and consequences I have to consider when the issue of “public image” comes up. And I have admittedly been torn on the issue for a few logical reasons that are personal to me. 

For a time in my past, I found myself in situations where I subjected myself to the oppression of my empowerment as a woman and as an artist. The people in my life at the time, did not support the strength in my own womanhood and sexuality. I was not encouraged as a writer and singer to step up and be a front woman. My voice was not heard and I felt suffocated.

In hindsight, I do not feel like a victim; as it took me a lot of growing, soul searching and psychological exploration to understand why I found myself in these types of situations. The truth is, whatever the reasons were for me being there, those situations definitely left a mark on my heart and soul. A mark that will probably work on my psyche for the rest of my life, and a mark that I felt the need to rebel against once I found the strength to leave those types of situations in my past and start a new life, making different and better choices. 

My initial reaction to freeing myself of that past was to stick my middle finger up and express a big FUCK YOU to those oppressors. I also wanted to prove to myself that I was the strong, powerful, sexually empowered, musically innovative and expressive writer I always felt I was deep down. I was fortunate enough to come upon a musical soulmate in which through working with this person, I grew as a writer, a performer, a frontwoman, and as an all around artist in general. I feel like I finally came into my own, and through that collaboration I made a body of work called “After The Fall” that I am the most proud of in my life so far! That took care of the musical side.

On the sensual side I really wanted to face my fears of unlocking the doors to my sexuality and womanhood. I did this by challenging myself to feel comfortable exuding sexuality in front of the camera. I have been lucky enough to work with some amazing professional photographers who allowed me to do just that. The outcome has been a body of photographical work that I am happy to have, and to look back on when I am 80 years old and remember that I was strong enough to be proud of my body without the stress of the societal pressures placed upon women regarding weight and size. However, what I have run into recently is the dilemma of whether or not these photos portray the image I truly want the public to understand about my art. I recently came upon 3 main eye openers that made me step back and ask myself how I want to portray my “public image” moving ahead. 

The 1st was a great website I came upon called Miss Representation. It analyzes the misogynistic subtleties portrayed in the media when it comes to women and their sexuality. The 2nd was reading an amazing essay written by Ashley Judd,  when she was accused of looking “puffy” by the media. The essay was a response to the preposterous and unrealistic pressures that society and media put upon women to attain an unattainable image. The 3rd was my own personal reminder,  that I have always identified with the Riot Grrrl Movement, a feminist movement based in Punk Rock music whose values are rooted in the empowerment and sisterhood of women in music.

This left me split 50/50 between finding empowerment in my sexuality and my belief that the human form is TRULY a work of art and the flip side; which is not wanting to give my audience and the public the wrong idea on what my music and my art is about. The thing is, that when I look at classic works of art such as Michelangelo’s David , I find so much beauty in the human form when it is displayed in it’s purest sense….nudity! And I completely subscribe to that perspective. I do NOT want to give in to the pressures I feel when some douchey scumbag says something degrading to me when they see my photos. In fact, I want to rebel against those brainless losers and show the world that nudity IS art. Unfortunately, with the adult industry being so prevalent in our society, it becomes quite a feat to separate yourself as an artist who finds beauty in her pure form and not be confused with women who exploit and dis-empower themselves through the same means. This left me with a conundrum. With much soul searching, I finally came upon a solution on how I am choosing to move forward. 

I have finally decided that the statement I made by coming out and rebelling against the oppression of my past is something I will never regret. I am glad I did it because it needed to be done in order for me to find my own power, sensually. However, by this juncture, I feel the statement has been made. It has served its purpose and that time of my life has run its course. It is time for the next phase. However, I still hold strongly to the fact that the human form is a work of art. And living in a society where young girls are hovering over a toilet and throwing up trying to live up to an unrealistic image that the media forces upon them, it is important to me to be that Riot Grrrl and take a stand against those pressures. By continuing to find power in my womanhood, be it sensually, sexually, as a writer, singer, artist etc. without concern for what society thinks about it, is the example I want to lead with. Therefore, I am deciding to take a new approach on how I portray my sexuality in my public image. I want to make sure that the music is the #1 message that is received. And my image is merely 1 of the supporting facets that make up who Irene Merring is as a woman and artist. I will do this by taking care that any photo that is taken in which my sexuality is expressed, that it is done in THE most artistic way possible! It MUST be a work of art or it won’t be done at ALL. And it MUST come secondary to the music. This is what I pledge to be aware of moving forward. I pledge to stay true to who I am and not allow my past or society dictate my image for me. I pledge to find power, pride and strength in my womanhood! I pledge to bring women together through sisterhood instead of further separating us with cattiness and competition. I pledge to lead by example. And I pledge to continue to soul search and grow.

Yes folks, I am playing at the House of Blues on the Sunset Strip on November 19th in the Foundation Room. I am pretty damn stoked about this gig seeing as not only is it the legendary House Of Blues but that it is also on the Sunset Strip which I LOVE! The night is based around female fronted band which if you have read ANY of my posts before, you know this brings out the Riot Grrrl in me! I go on at 10pm sharp so if you are in the area on Saturday, November 19th at 10pm, don’t be a schlub and come through to support some kick ass chick bands including yours truly. Here are the details:

9pm: Allison Gray 

10pm: Irene Merring

11pm: Kaela Garnder

Midnight: Ice Cream Fire 

Tickets can be bought online as well by following this link: 

http://irenemerring.eventbrite.com/

They are $5! So basically, if you don’t come, you are super duper cheap lame-o! But seriously, hope to see you all there! :-) 

As a purist, I sometimes struggle with the state of music and the music business in this day and age. Things have changed so much since I was a child and started in the entertainment business that I am already finding myself relating to Grandparents of yore saying the phrase, “In My Day…..”. I consider myself a true artist. Which means that I make music from my heart and soul without concern for what is a popular in the mainstream at the moment. I do not remake music that is being made over and over and over again to fit a specific mainstream formula. I do not make music simply because it’s the “cool” music to make at that time. I make music that inspires. I am not going to become a hip hop, dub step, or electro pop artist just to get my song played on dancefloors (Let me just state that even the purity of the aforementioned genres has been compromised by the mainstream). I am a true believer in letting your soul show through your music. I believe in vulnerability and freedom through artistic expression. And therefore, I know that if I sold out my soul to make a buck, that I would be found out immediately because I am too genuine of a soul to commit fraudulence the way most of our society does today. With this said, I sometimes have a hard time staying in this business because (while I think great opportunities for self promotion have come leaps and bounds from where I started) like all things in society: When it was initially meant for good, our overly decadent society mutates it and over saturates it until it becomes a mockery of itself. And when there is nothing left, it moves onto the next thing to destroy the purity of. I come from the Grunge/Punk Rock/Riot Grrrl mentality. And for those of you who now think Grunge is cool because it become the “cool thing” to like again, let me explain what the movement TRULY was…It’s was about Anarchy. A rejection of societies rules! It was about questioning the what you think you know about society. And most of all, it was about community. Bands supported other bands. Not to build a better marketing strategy but because they were genuine fans of one another. And music was a form of art. It was made because the soul made it so. Not because it was “cool”. The Riot Grrrl movement was about female unity. Respecting and supporting and encouraging other females. Very unlike today’s “Bad Girls Club” society where females are being pinned violently against one another. These mentalities are ones that I have held onto since I was a child, up until today. So it’s not surprising that I would have trouble wanting to keep up with a society where technology has enabled any and everyone to be a “Musician”. It’s so easy now that everyone can do it and everyone does. And just because you CAN do a thing, doesn’t mean you SHOULD! Talent has become a common trait. And people with the pure artistic talent that I still hold dear have become an endangered species. 
With all that said, the days of discovering great new music has become quite a task.  With so much oversaturation, artists who truly DO have great music sometimes will succumb to the fact that nobody will ever hear it. Reason being: in today’s music business, PR Companies and “Record Labels” want you to do all the work FOR them 1st and then MAYBE they will take you on AFTER that. Artist Development does not exist anymore when it comes to big companies. The definition of DIY has changed drastically. There is only so much an artist can do for themselves to get their music heard. But when it comes down to it, financial abundance coupled with the right resources (connections) is the best chance any artist has of even getting their music out to even their local community. It can be frustrating to deal with. 
I read 4 articles today that, not only cosigned on my disillusionment of the industry, but spelled it out so eloquently that I was almost spooked by how accurate they were.  
The 1st- A harsh reality into the shape of our society. A Muppets cover of “Smells Like Teen Spirit” Many of you who know me, know my genuine love for Nirvana. So much so that I don;t feel I need to reiterate. That is a post for another time.  So to watch them become the next Bon Jovi (everyone sings along to “Smells LIke Teen Spirit” instead of “Living On A Prayer” at the end of the night at your local frat bar or wedding) is just heartbreaking and discouraging for me. Not to mention the plethora of wanna be’s jumping on the Nirvana bandwagon and doing cover after cover of their songs without any concern nor knowledge of what the band even stood for. Don’t get me wrong. They deserve their appreciation. But is it too much to ask to keep the purity of it? 

http://www.spin.com/articles/muppets-teen-spirit-will-easily-top-these-5-nirvana-covers

The 2nd decribes the harsh realities of how hard it is to get your music heard by…well…ANYONE. And explains how and why certain people ARE able to because of financial means. 

http://www.musicthinktank.com/blog/what-i-would-do-with-a-pile-of-money-to-spend-on-an-artist.html

The 3rd describes how radio is becoming more and more obsolete. Especially when it comes to discovering and breaking new music. And gives a peep into why we only hear the same 3 new songs over and over while the rest of the songs radio plays are songs that were hits 20 years ago. 

http://www.musicthinktank.com/blog/dont-go-over-the-self-promotion-cliff-crush-your-local-radio.html

The 4th was the hardest for me. So hard that I had to add my own commentary to the end of it.(Scroll down to see it) It’s a conglomerate of theories of the harsh reality that many great songs out there will never be heard. 

http://www.musicthinktank.com/blog/do-great-songs-really-ever-go-unheard.html

It’s all enough for someone like me to wish they had a Time Machine to go back in time and choose a career that wouldn’t break my heart constantly. We still do it because we love it so much. But we all need to live. And choosing a more fruitful career wouldn’t have forced me to watch the destruction of our society through the eyes of the pure artist.