Anger is such a powerful motivational tool! I often feel like I don’t allow myself to realize my anger often enough because by nature I am such a loving individual that wants everyone to love each other. But tonight I realized that anger is a normal human emotion. And it can he healthy to allow myself to feel it. It’s how I react to it, is the important thing. This leads me to what stemmed my current angry state. THE MUSIC INDUSTRY!

From time to time, I find myself get really frustrated with the industry and how it functions. The reason for this is that, I feel like if I followed the formula that has been the standard “go to” in the industry, that maybe success would come easier to me. EXAMPLE- If I were me! (A black girl), but I were a Hip Hop MC or an R&B artist, then it would be a no brainer. A+B=C . The industry would know EXACTLY what to do with me. If I were a Caucasion male doing rock music or a Caucasion male with a soulful voice, it would again be a no brainer. A+B=C. But I AM WHO I AM! I am a black female who is influenced by true rock artists of yore. And the music I make, is a reflection of what I have admired and loved to the bottom of my gut for many years. Simply put, I am a black rock artist! And I love who I am! I refuse to change myself and my art just to cut corners to find successes more easily. And unfortunately, while we have made leaps and bounds in the way of accepting artists such as myself, we still have a LONG way to go. And we should be ALOT further along in our enlightenment in this industry and as a society than we presently are! Like bands of yore such a Living Colour, Jimi Hendrix and Lenny Kravitz; Black Rock Musicians who bear the talent and artistry that deserves worldwide admiration get only half of the industry push and support as their Caucasion counterparts. Too often I find that I hit obstacles when it comes to getting support and backing for my music. I typically get the same response over and over, “She is amazing. Her music is great! She’s got tons of potential. But we don’t know what to do with her.” THIS IS INSANE TO ME! For starters, we ALL know that the people who have changed the world; the people who have changed the face of the industry, the people who have become legends, the people who every other band and artist wants to sound like are the SAME people who didn’t fit the mold. They are the innovators that someone GRACIOUSLY took a chance on and by doing so, they changed EVERYTHING! Simply put, if I know what to do with my music, then so do you…;). And yet, I still see over and over again, the gate keepers taking the “safe bet” for the Justin Bieber’s of the world. And nothing against Justin Bieber. While I am NOT a fan, I DO believe that he IS talented. However, he follows a formula. he fits a mold. He’s a Caucasion male doing soulful pop music. And everyone loves a white boy who can sing soul. Artists like this are a “Sure Thing”. Which brings me to the other reason I am angry tonight. It would be easy for me to just blame the industry and not blame the artist if I felt like the artists that are getting these opportunities TRULY appreciated their blessings. I am not mad at anyone else’s hustle. If you can cut corners to get what you want, more power to you. That is not what effects me. What effects me is when I see these artists PRETEND to be humble. PRETEND that they are SO deep and intricate and “love their fans” when they will never TRULY know what it’s like to struggle. They will never TRULY know what it’s like to go against the mold. To have the balls to be an innovator. To do TRUE art that is vulnerable and bears your soul and then go out and hit the walls of the industry standard of A+B=C time and time again. And yet somehow find a way, to pick yourself up and keep going and believe that maybe one day you will get your chance. They can never understand this. And what’s worse, is that I truly believe that they will NEVER appreciate their blessings even a FRACTION of what I would if it were to happen for me. At least Justin Bieber is aware of what he is in the industry. So I can’t be mad at him. But there are TOO many people who portray the image that they are writing from their soul, when the truth is, that they are writing what they know is going to sell. They wear a mask. They create a public image that is a COMPLETE fabrication and they communicate with their supporters as if they just took a class in media training. They claim to be humble but in reality they are narcissists and opportunistic egomaniacs disguised as “sensitive broken hearted artist types” 

The artists that I look up to and respect weren’t and aren’t this way at ALL!  
I have a clear picture in my head of Kurdt Cobain after Nirvana’s Unplugged performance. As the band is walking offstage, Kurdt, bypasses ALL of the industry people in the audience and sees a group of 3 kids sitting in a row. He approaches the kids with TRUE humility and humbleness and thanks them genuinely for coming. He signs their Tees and CDs and shakes their hands. You can tell by the look in his face that he TRULY means these gestures with conviction. And this was at the height of this man’s stardom. And he STILL remembered that the fans were the people who truly mattered. I don’t remember Eddie Vedder making his public image one where girls would swoon or be a complete player! Or  even writing about bitches up in the club. Instead, he was political. He had something important to say. Same with Rage Against the Machine. They had an important message to contribute to the world. Alice In Chains, they bared their soul in their music and lyrics. They spoke of the ugly side of heartbreak and addiction. THESE are the artists I have always emulated. And THESE are the artists I think of when I look at my OWN self as an artist. My art bears my soul in all of it’s good, bad and ugly. It tells my story. It’s vulnerable. And yes, I DO consider myself an innovator. Because I DON’T fit the mold. My music combines genres such as Punk, Grunge, Industrial, and even Trip Hop. My voice has soul undertone to it because I have loved and admired soul singers of yore. I’m a black female with a Filipino producer. We are left and we defy the close minded standards that society and the music industry has put upon us. The music I love has literally saved my life time and time again and always made me feel like I wasn’t alone in the world. Of COURSE now that I am an artist myself, it is important to me to pass on the same blessings to others that these artists I admire passed onto me! If I felt like the artists who fit the mold TRULY understood the role they play and APPRECIATED the backing and support they get, then it would be easy for me to put the blame where it deserves. Because I would know that their ability to cut corners wouldn’t be their fault. It would be the fault of the industry. Especially when they ARE talented. But when they seem to embody a phony image that makes a mockery of artistry, I can’t help but feel resentful. Because I could never see my ego inflate they way theirs does. And I would and WILL never let a moment go by when I didn’t thank ALL of my lucky stars that I finally got my chance. So what’s my conclusion?
I decided to use my anger towards the greater good. Instead of spending the next week turning my anger inward and internalizing it; thus resulting in me being in a depressed state wondering “what it all means”, I am instead going to use my anger as fuel for my ambition and drive! THIS MEANS WAR! I want to take my virtual shotgun in hand, roll up into the offices of the gate keepers, stick some headphones on them, play my music and insist that I am either leaving there with a deal in hand, or their brains on the wall. LOLOLOL…Ok, Ok, that’s a violent image. And one that I am totally joking about (…oooor am I…;) ). BUT the principle is the same. My virtual shotgun is representative of all of my anger and frustration about the state of the industry. It encompasses my fire, my drive and ultimately my STRENGTH! And I want to use that to make a positive difference in the world. To support bands and artists who I believe to be TRUE artists but are victims of the close mindedness put upon them. Because guess what folks. WE ARE NOT VICTIMS! And we have the power to change it all! So I call out to all of the true artists and true fans of music that means something and comes from the heart. To the artists: Let’s band together and support each other’s art. Go to each others shows. Promote each other. Let’s create a movement together! To fans: Let’s make sure that music is something to be respected. Let’s not throw hatred into the world but instead go to the shows and show love. Let people know about the music. Let’s make music that is ART popular again! Listen to it with love in our hearts. Let it touch us deep within our souls. And to the gate keepers: Grow some balls and take a chance on artists like me damn it! I promise….We won’t let you down! 

This is my 1st step to go relentlessly into the world with a fire inside to MAKE myself and others like me heard, respected, loved and supported. This is our time now! So my advice for the Justin Bieber’s of the world is, watch your back. I am creeping up behind you so don’t sleep! ;) 

A special shout out to those who are already trying to support and make a change. Funk Gumbo radio, you guys encompass everything that is right about being innovators and taking a chance. Words cannot describe my gratitude for your continued support and my absolute respect for the vision you guys manifest into a reality everyday! And to the artists like me who stay true to ourselves in the face of adversity I salute you! Just to name a few: Peter Hadar, J*Davey, RVRS:PLAY, Pillow Theory, My M.O,Santigold, Atlantic Connection …the list goes on and on. <3